Sarah, I'm glad this resonated and hopefully offers some different ways to approach the task at hand and keep your sanity. I remember the day I wrote this so clearly - I was BEYOND frustrated, and took a long walk to clear my head. Not everyone can contribute to the levels that perhaps the primary individual can - so we have to find middle ground. Good luck with your parents - j

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This is so good. One of my brothers and I were just 30 minutes ago discussing upcoming plans. I am primary caregiver (parents live with us but in a separate space), and my husband and I would like to plan just a short trip in December--three months away. It's so tricky. There are three of us siblings who live in the same general area (within 45 minutes), and two that live 800 miles away. One of those is disabled and unable (and unwilling) to help. I feel like we should be able to have regular breaks, and that my brothers should be ready to step in. I mean ideally, I'd love for a brother to say, "Hey, sis! You guys need a break! Pick a week that works for you, and we will be there?!" What a dream that would be, instead of sending a string of emails, begging for help.

But really, I am fortunate to have one brother who regularly helps out with doctors' visits and has supper with them weekly. I know that's more than a lot of people have.

Also, this quote is so good: "Once you stop fighting what is unfolding in front of you, it becomes easier to navigate your own emotions. Acceptance is powerful." I need to remember this more often.

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