Respect, reverence & a side of SMH: the four people I met on a plane

Is KARMA real? If so, one man may be in DEEP trouble!

An 85-year old woman, two grown men and a toddler all get on a plane…

Sounds like the start of some sort of bad joke, right?

It is not. It is the set up to a recent experience I would like to share with you.

My work as a communications consultant has me traveling quite often to cities across the country.

View from above

Wednesday morning I boarded my plane at DFW (Dallas, Texas) and took my seat. 19D. An aisle.

A few minutes later, I saw the flight attendant helping an older woman make her way to her seat. 18D. Right in front of me.

Not just any older woman, but an African American woman about the same size, shape and skin tone as my mother, Miss Nellie.

In another time and place, someone could have easily mistaken the two of them. My heart instantly lurched. I felt tears welling up just seeing this woman making her way onto the plane.

Miss Jessie Mae

As she was getting settled, I couldn’t help but smile. I had to choke back tears. I missed my mother. I decided I would let this woman know if she needed help she could ask me.

A few moments later a middle-aged man stopped at her row. He had the middle seat next to the old woman.

He was tall, tattooed arms; somewhat gruff. Anglo. (This is only important because I doubt with all my being if he had been a person of color he would have uttered the next words).

“I’m right there. In the middle seat. Or you can move over and I’ll take this seat.”

Let that sink in. “OR YOU CAN MOVE OVER.”

He didn’t say, ‘Excuse me ma’am, would you mind or be interested in changing seats? He didn’t say, ‘Hello. How are you today? Any chance you might be willing to swap because I’m so tall.”

He basically ordered her to move over. Folks, it took every ounce of ‘you-don’t-want-to-have-security-remove-you-from-the-plane’ sensibilities I have in me to not stand up and confront this man.

He had ZERO right to speak to her in that manner!

Not to mention when I looked at her, I could see Miss Nellie. I thought about how many indignities and slights and unfair moments a woman of color, at her age has probably endured from society.

I was fuming. It hurt my heart. It hurt my soul. But I didn’t want to end up on a viral video getting tossed off the plane!

So instead, I told this rather rude, perfectly capable man he was going to change seats with me! That way, I could sit next to this older woman and make sure if she needed help in any way I could assist.

During the next three hours I forged a new intergenerational friendship.

Life journey

Miss Jessie Mae was born and raised in Mississippi. (As was my mother). She said she will celebrate her 86th birthday next month. Happy birthday!

Like many African Americans in the South, the ravages of the depression, racism, violence and lack of opportunity, led to many individuals and families moving in what is deemed The Great Migration.

A photograph of an African American family arriving in Chicago after migrating from the rural South, 1922. Courtesy of The New York Public Library.

Miss Jessie Mae said she spent several years in Chicago.She told me she attended a rally, in which Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. gave a speech. She touched history and says she knew as she listened to him, that his words and actions were going to help change the world.

Family matters brought her back to Mississippi, where she says she married by age 30. Her husband was a farmer. Her life settled in by working and leading that farm.

She was one of 13 or 14 children (I can’t remember the exact number) with most of her siblings having already passed. She had children of her own, but didn’t say how many.

During her life, she had worked here and there helping others raise their children, care for their relatives and tend to their elders. Basically, she gave of herself to be a caregiver before caregiving was a thing.

On the farm, her family raised horses, cattle, hogs and chickens. They grew cotton, corn and beans. Even at this advanced age, she said she still works outdoors, ‘cleaning brush’ when necessary.

I showed her video and pictures of my seven chickens.

“Do they give you eggs?” She asked? “Yes, and I love collecting them!”

Miss Jessie Mae has more than 30 chickens! She and younger relatives sometimes sell eggs at local markets.

DFW to SMF reframed

This flight made my heart sing. It gave me a glimpse into another world; that of Miss Jessie Mae and living a rural life in the deep south.

At times her head dipped and she dozed; then she would wake with a start.

I watched her fold and refold a small napkin in her lap. The lines and wrinkles of her hands; the knotted curves on her knuckles, and nails slightly discolored from age, brought tears to my eyes.

They were the same hands of Miss Nellie. Hands which no doubt had seen and experienced so much in this life.

Before we knew it, the pilot announced ‘our initial descent.’ I asked Miss Jessie Mae who was picking her up.

“My nephew is supposed to be here.”

The four people

You’ve met The Rude Man and Miss Jessie Mae but what about the other two?

In row 17 was a young mother with an overactive, screaming, almost uncontrollable toddler. I felt bad for her. She seemed exhausted.

Miss Jessie Mae seemed unfazed by the three hours of screaming and jumping on the seat. When the little boy stood up, and looked over at us, Miss Jessie Mae started talking to him. She held his hand.

It was the ONLY time during the entire flight he stopped screaming. Patience and acceptance.

When it was time to leave, I pulled Miss Jessie Mae's bag from the overhead. The man sitting next to her, then said, “Since you’re helping her and you have your own bag, I’ll carry her bag.” Kindness and respect.

Welcome back to California!

The wheelchair attendant (seen here in the photo) was waiting for Miss Jessie Mae. I stayed with this elder family matriarch until her nephew arrived to pick her up. I wasn’t leaving until I knew Miss Jessie Mae was safely in the hands of family. We said goodbye and I walked to my car feeling gratitude and reverence.

The four people I met on a plane...

A message for The Rude Man: I can’t help but wonder, what is missing in your soul? I truly hope Karma finds you and works her unique magic.

How would you have handled this? Jump into the discussion and let me hear what you think about all of this!

Until next time~