Learning from the Wheels of Life: How I went from caregiver to advocate in 4-steps
What every family caregiver can do NOW to join the movement for change
Whether you are new to the Keeping it REAL Caregiving family or have been with us since this journey began, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the reasons for KIRC and what comes next.
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I thought this would be a good moment to reintroduce myself to all of you and outline the vision behind KIRC. My name is Julia Yarbough and this is the KIRC story.
Julia Yarbough/Broadcast Journalist/Communications Consultant & Family Caregiver
Pleased to meet you...
If you’re wondering what brought me into the world of writing, talking and educating others about family caregiving, it is because I have lived it.
I understand the many hurdles family caregivers face; emotional, physical, financial and logistical. It is not always easy. In fact, it is downright HARD! And caregivers need all the support and understanding they can get!
So who am I? Well, for almost 20 years I was the main point-person who helped my elderly mother Miss Nellie Pearl Yarbough navigate through the last years of her life. I was her primary caregiver through her final years and was holding her hand at the final heartbeat.
Mrs. Nellie P. Yarbough
Angels came to collect my mother in September, 2020. She had just turned 90. There are many days when it doesn’t seem real that she is gone. I miss her in ways hard to put into words.
The decision to dive into educating others regarding family caregiving was a natural transition. I have spent my career as a broadcast news journalist.
For more than 25 years I worked in newsrooms in Kentucky, Los Angeles and Miami. In the past few years, my interest in educating and advocating for family caregivers has grown. So has my education in this arena:
The Gerontological Society of America selected me as one of only 15 journalists from around the country as a 2020 Journalists in Aging Fellow.
This year, I have joined a handful of professionals across the aging field for the American Socieity on Aging ASA Rise Program. It focuses on diversity, equity and inclusion, to train and develop more leaders of color within the aging sector.
The California Department of Aging leads the charge for the state's Master Plan for Aging. I am honored and proud to have been asked to join as a member of one of the working groups for these efforts, the Equity in Aging Advisory Committee.
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Aging & the new reality
In 2000 I was working in Miami and my mother was was still living in Fairfield, in the Northern California home our parents raised me and my siblings.
My father served in the U.S. Air Force. Travis Air Force Base was our stomping grounds. Dad had passed years earlier, other family members were all living on the East coast, so mom was more or less on her own.
But we all knew she was getting older and at some point she may have to make a change. She finally made the decision to sell her home and move near me, in South Florida.
At that time I had no idea my role would evolve into full blown caregiver.
You can learn more about this evolution from news anchor to family caregiver on the KIRC website
Mrs. Nellie P. Yarbough/South Florida
The next 20 years were eye-opening, to say the least!
I learned about...
Medicare and private insurance
How to interview companies for in-home care
What to say and NOT say to qualify for such services
Questions to ask and guidance to demand from doctors
...and all of that was just the tip of the iceberg!
I remember the first time rushing mom to the hospital ER after she complained of dizziness and not being able to see.
Turns out her blood pressure was above 200-over-something (I always forget the bottom number)...
Doctors rushed to admit and treat her, saying she was likely on the verge of a stroke.
If I knew then...
That moment seems so distant now, considering how many times since then I spent hours in the hospital with my mother. On that first visit, I knew almost nothing about what it would mean to be a caregiver.
By the time I said goodbye to my mother, it was common for various doctors to ask me if I had been trained as a nurse, because I knew so much.
I learned how crucial it is to become a vocal advocate for our loved ones and practical items such as:
How to safely transfer my mother from bed, to wheelchair, to a potty chair
How to adjust her body in a bed to avoid bed sores
How to track and administer medications
Wheels of life
"The wheels of life are turning so much faster. The restless hands of time pass me by..."
Miss Nellie loved listening to singer Gino Vannelli!
One of my favorite songs is Wheels of Life. It brings tears to my eyes each time I listen. It makes me think about the progression of our lives and what truly matters in this short time we are here.
I know we cannot stop the march of time and death is inevitable.
However, the final years should NOT be difficult, or void of care for elders and those who are caring for them.
The gaps I discovered in the 'system-of-care' made me angry. Many times I found myself exhausted and frustrated at care platforms focused more on profit rather than patient.
My heart hurt for my mother but the process also terrified me.
I can’t help but think, 'My mother had me to advocate for her. But what about me? I don’t have children. What will the aging sector look like when I am elderly and need help? Will I be well cared for in the final years of my life?'
What next?
If any of that gives you reason for pause, then I invite you to join me and continue growing the KIRC family.
Let's continue sharing our stories, partner with aging advocacy platforms to drive change, and IMPROVE our current landscape!
Thank you for allowing me into your world and I am honored for this opportunity to use my journalism skills and voice to help all of you - all of us!
Until next time~
