Is your heart in the right place?
Caregiver wisdom
None of us is getting out of this alive.
Over the years when I would let the challenges of the world make me crazy and stressed, a dear friend of mine would say that to me. It is such a simple phrase yet it packs a powerful punch. Somehow, it calms me down.
During the heavy-duty years of caregiving for my mother, especially when I would make myself think about the reality that one day I would lose mom, that phrase helped me keep things in perspective.
Sharing little nuggets such as this is what Keeping it REAL Caregiving is all about. Let's face it... this topic of caregiving is tough. Thinking about it can be exhausting and scary. It is no wonder so many of us put off facing these issues... it is not easy!
But knowing what I know now … I don’t think we have any other choice but to make ourselves face the fact … that if we age and continue living — we must take steps to get ready!
As our KIRC tribe grows (and BTW, a big WELCOME to all the new followers) I believe we will be able to help each other by sharing practical information. Sometimes what can help is not just the technical, but also the emotional. In this instance, simple words of wisdom.
Attitude adjustment
A reader recently shared a bit about her personal journey of caring for her husband. Read her words and you will find some powerful reminders of staying focused, and strategies of how to cope with challenges and loss.
Keep in mind, the process is different for everyone. However, there may be a level of peace and comfort to be found in acceptance; in the inevitable… that none of us is getting out of this alive.
Courtesy: Getty Images/Krisanapong Detraphiphat
Personal Journey
When my husband was first diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma which is a blood cancer, both of us was shocked.
While he was internalizing his emotions, my mind immediately took a 360 degree turn. I thought nothing of myself and ALL thoughts turned toward my husband's welfare, be it mental, physical, nutritionally etc.
We dealt with the chemotherapy, the radiation, the hospital bills, prescriptions and trials that come with cancer.
My responses to his attitude rolled off of me like olive oil.
I didn't feel sorry for my husband at all; we vowed to just live our lives without this cancer getting in the way.
When 2019 rolled in we started making arrangements for our end of life requests.
Through it all though, I remained soft, understanding, and patient, I made time for myself through reading The Word of God, praying, and worshiping The Lord God with my husband and others while both of us attended church services.
I cried a lot without him knowing because toward the end he slept quite a bit.
He was mean sometimes but I weathered it by remaining soft, and patient.
That was my husband and I was his caregiver, the same happened with my mother.
Courtesy: Getty Images/Tetra Images
We as caregivers have to understand that not only are our loved ones going through a transition... we are too.
Our hearts have to be in the right position. If you're hard and callous then search out someone else who can do the job right because after all, we're ALL going to need someone when the time comes for us as WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!; THAT'S A GUARANTEED APPOINTMENT ALL ARE GOING TO BE ON TIME FOR.
Keeping it REAL
I would like to thank this reader for opening up and allowing all of us to learn from her experiences. She definitely gives some food for thought!
I’m going to go out on a limb here and offer up a collective - and very warm and 'positive-energy' hug... from & for ALL of us. Thank you.
Be sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Keeping it REAL Caregiving newsletter to stay in the loop.
In the coming weeks, look for a powerful interview and video segment with a woman who has said goodbye to her spouse and is learning to navigate her next chapters. Her journey, coping strategies and inner strength will touch your heart and inspire you!
And, if YOU have a personal story you would like to share or a topic you believe KIRC should dive into, let me hear from you. Join the discussion or email me at info@juliayarboughmediagroup.com.
So until next time~
Ciao